you came suddenly and unexpectedly, at a time when i am not looking for someone. all i wanted then, was to find serenity from the deafening noise of the city, to find my rest with God and shake all the stress i have inside.
it was the same ordinary night, the star and moon shines bright. i came inside the house and you were there... when suddenly, someone said to me, "zha, can i asked you something?... what if the two of you were meant to be?"... i was startled, not knowing the right answer to a silly question, but i gave an answer anyway... "i see no problem...", i said. which cause the house to be filled with "whoas!" and "ohhs" and i hurriedly exited the house right after, for i may not be able to answer the next questions or maybe... i am afraid to face those next questions.
i have no idea what went next during the conversations in that house... the next day came, we were teased every single second of the day, whenever they have the chance. i tried to be myself and still be friendly to you somehow, but i just can't help it... i knew you noticed it too, i backed-away... "i am afraid".
but any how, those simple thoughts of the two of "US"... made me bloom somehow... as the pictures showed it. i might be inspired... infatuated (at my age?!) by the thought...
the convention came to an end... i don't know, but for the last time, we are still in the eyes of our audiences... and they asked that we get a picture... the two of us together... you give in to their request and so did i, because i am trying to be a "sport".
"click"... and off we go... we go on separate ways... of course to our different houses. will it just be a memory of a past or a start of something new?
days and months passed... communications thru SMS and emails are still there... but they were just a mere exchange of either forwarded msgs or emails... a little (and i mean "little") conversation in the middle... through them, i've had built your character... or was it just an imagination or the books i read about personalities that helped me make that image of who you are.
but it is tiring me and this has to end.. this guessing game of what you truly feel... of what you want out of this game...
you see i never played poker or any game for that matter, that will cause money or myself... i've never been into that. i guess it's time to press the button that says, "EXIT or GAME OVER".
"i am laying all my hopes, dreams, plans and my life to the One who truly loves me no matter what, from beginning to end. i will let God be the God over my life and let Him take over... for it is He who promised to give me a man after His own heart... and the One who promised is faithful to complete it in His own time..."
for who knows??? one day i might be ask to press, "CONTINUE?"
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"the good thing that you desire will become the best thing when you allow God to give it to you in His time..."
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"He has made everything beautiful in its time."- Eccl 3:11
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